You are allowed to feel shitty.
But most of all, you are allowed to stop when you need to and take a breath. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Go on.-writings for winter
"My heart is an infected tooth
& I can’t afford the dentist,
so I try to take pliers to it
& by pliers I mean that
I fuck people I probably
shouldn’t & I don’t even
feel that bad after it.
I mean, not for them.
I still feel bad that I know
it hurts you when I do this,
but I also feel like you deserve
a little hurt, because
who doesn’t deserve to know
that they’re still in love?
But love changes nothing,
the moon knows that when
so many people write poems
for her but she still can’t help
leaving before anyone wakes up.
What I’m trying to say is that
there’s a picture of the moon
as the background on my phone
& there’s a voice recording of you saying,
“Good morning. I’m awake. I’m awake.”
that I sometimes use as my alarm,
because I like to think that one day
you’ll wake up & it helps me with that,
but I should know better by now &
I promise that I’m trying to learn.
You just left a hole inside of me
when you decided on easy
& I’m not sure if I should grow
some violets there or if I should
just leave it empty & wide open
for someone new to try & crawl into."
Moriah Pearson (mooneyedandglowing)